It’s been 7 months since my last blog post; however, although the title of this post is “Where have I been?” seems to refer to my absence, it actually eludes to something much greater. The phrase “where have I been” refers to a sense of loss of myself. When I look in the mirror, I don’t recognize the person that has lived through the past year.
The past year has been really hard on a psychological and emotional level. A lot of upheaval has occurred. Substantial changes on the professional front, definitely not for the good, with no improvement visible on the horizon. I find it increasingly difficult to work in a hostile work environment filled with a bunch of self-serving, sexist, backstabbers that do not know any better. Ha ha….that sounded rather bitter, didn’t it? What’s amazing is that people are so clueless to think that just because I take a few weeks off for vacation that they believe that my colleagues and co-workers do not call and talk to me while I’m off from work and let me know about the conniving that goes on behind my back. They just need to remember that karma is a bitch and she is coming back to work!
Additionally, my grandmother passed away this year. My grandmother was a unique individual and if I were to pick a relative who I felt I best personify that person’s personality, it would be my grandmother. Always wanting to take care of folks, an evil sense of humor (and I mean that in a nice way) and a wicked laugh. Her death is still resonating, as per her wishes, her ashes were supposed to be spread. It’s now December and that has not happened yet. The reasons for this have caused a bit of controversy in our family. In fact the last time I logged into this blog was shortly after her death, so its been 7 months since she died and we have yet to honor her last wishes. You know what they say….you can pick your friends, but not your family. Hopefully this will be resolved soon. I reached out to complete strangers to determine if they were related to my grandmother just so that we can find a place to distribute her ashes. With all the genealogy research I have done, it still amazes me how small the world is and how we are all connected in some fashion.
Last week after some long thoughtful moments, I made some decisions. They were made before Christmas so they can’t be considered New Year’s resolutions to be broken. I’m tired of looking at that stranger in the mirror and in 2011, I have made it my priority to find the individual that I know I am and set things into motion to ensure my happiness and prosperity, not only for myself personally, but my family as well. Look out 2011! Here I come with a full head of steam!
