My Bucket List

{ September 19, 2009 @ 5:57 pm } · { Life }
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headstoneI recently saw the movie “The Bucket List” and thought “what a good idea”.  

I am a to-do list person.  I feel they help me remember what I need to get done.  Although on a daily basis, I usually have too much on that list.

But to have a life to do list, those things that I want to do before I die, I think that is an excellent idea and I am going to create one.  It will help me recall all those things that I dreamed of as a young girl that I wanted to do.

  1. Relearn to play the flute
  2. Earn my masters degree
  3. Plant a vegetable and herb garden
  4. Stand inside the Coliseum in Rome
  5. Write a book
  6. Ride a gondola in Venice
  7. Perform with a band
  8. Own a house in the country
  9. Raise horses
  10. Attend a bullfight in Spain
  11. Retrace my family tree to Ireland
  12. …….

Need some time to think…it’s har dto come up with a list right off the top of your head of everything you want to do in your life in less than 5 minutes…

When you look back 50 years from now…

{ January 11, 2009 @ 1:57 pm } · { Life }
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“When you look back 50 years from now, don’t you want to say you had the guts to…..”.  You complete the sentence. 

The quote is from a popular movie.  An action movie, actually.  It’s not important which movie.  The quote is about regrets.  About having no regrets.  When you look back 50 years from now, don’t you want to say you had the courage to follow through, the guts to say how you feel, the moxie to stand up for yourself, the determination to be happy?

I had a friend last week tell me that they didn’t know I was so self-conscious.  This individual told me that they thought there wasn’t anything I wasn’t confident about, that I must I must hide it really well. Well….welcome to my big secret.

medwindow1There are things that I am self-conscious about.  I always approach every decision I make with a “do I do this” or “do I not do this”.  I do not like to regret a decision.  I do consider myself a confident person though.  I push through that self-consciousness like a bull in a china shop.  On about 98% of things.  Maybe that’s where everyone gets the idea that I am confident.  But there are some things that I keep hidden.  The 2% left over.  Things that if I made a decision to go forward with, they would change the course of my life.  Maybe in a good way, maybe in a bad way.   Maybe it’s the uncertainty of things that I am self-conscious about.  Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t want to listen to anyone question my decisions or listen to their criticisms.  I believe that every decision has a ripple effect.  That one decision can change the outcome of other things.  No one knows what the hidden 2% is, not even those closest to me.  They would probably be shocked otherwise.  Don’t worry….I don’t harbor secret desires of bringing harm to myself or others or committing a crime.  I am not an unhappy person, but I would classify myself as a dissastisfied person on some days.

When I look back in 50 years, I know there will be things I regret.  When you’re young you have so many grand ideas of how you want your life to turn out.  But does life ever turn out that way?  What happens to the spirit behind those grand ideas as one gets older?  There are so many things that I want to do.  I hope within the next 50 years, I get them done.  But I’m behind on my grand plan as it is….. I hope that if there are things I regret, that they are just individual items, and I don’t regret my life as a whole. 

Maybe the problem is I’m an over-achiever.  I admit I always have too much on my daily to-do list.  Then I beat myself up because I can’t get them done.  What about my life to-do list?  I think that will be a topic of my next post. 

I do have the guts to stand by the decisions the I have made thus far.  Do I have the guts to go through with that 2%? Oh, if that friend only knew! 

New Year’s Resolution

{ January 10, 2009 @ 6:21 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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I detest New Year’s resolutions.  Why?   Because I usually make one that’s really imporatant like reduce financial debt, lose weight, get organized…but what happens?   I have good intentions for the first month of the year, and then life catches up and I throw the resolution to the wayside.  But doesn’t everyone else?

So to keep up the tradition, I am making a New Year’s resolution, But one that I have never made before, so let’s keep our fingers crossed to see if I keep it.   I just created this blog a few months ago and have only posted a few very opinionated, political pieces that I felt I needed to get off my chest. 

But now I resolve to make this blog a daily habit, or at least 5 days a week.  After all, I get a weekend off from work, so 2 days off from blogging should not be a hassle.  But why the impulse to blog more?  Because lately, I feel like I have alot I need to get off my chest but noone to talk to.  That may not necessarily be true.  But I don’t want to talk to someone who may talk back to me.  I want to be entitled to my opinions without anyone but me saying I’m insane or laughing at me or telling me “get over it”.  In other words, I feel the need to vent alot more, but I also want to document my venting.  So I guess I prefer to keep an on-line journal of sorts.  The days of handwritting in a diary or a journal or over and quite frankly I prefer to type than write these days anyway.

But why do I call this blog “Diary of an Insane Texas Woman”?  Because, almost every day I tell myself “I must be insane”.   Each day I wake up and face things that I would rather not face, but do them anyway, which is a kind of insanity.  I also refuse to face other things that I should, which is not only insane, but just plain stupid.  So maybe I should call this blog “Diary of an Insane, Stupid, Texas Woman”.   As far as the “Texas Woman” portion of the title, well, I’m born and raised in Texas and am a woman.  So if you have a preconceived notion of a Texas Woman, i.e. image flashes of former Texas Governor Ann Richards, with the big boisterous personalities, big hair, jewelry, then you’ve hit the nail on the head.  That’s exactly the way we are.

Also I think in my daily posts, I will post some saying I heard that day that I think touches a cord in my insane life, sort of a “hitting too close to home” statement, just so I can vent some more about it.

Obama – The Messiah?

{ November 30, 2008 @ 6:12 pm } · { Uncategorized }
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In a single word — PUH-LEASE!!!!

I can see right now that the line between separation of church and state has definitely been erased since the election of Barack Obama as our nation’s next president. Since when is the Presidential Office the goal of God’s mission? I have to think that the non-Christians are disliking the notion coming from Christian camps that there was some divine plan in Barack Obama becoming our next President. Quite frankly I dislike anything that closely links religion and politics in this country.

Alot of people believe that Barack Obama, with the success as winning the election, is on a mission from God. A McCain ad went so far as to poke fun at him and dub him “The One”. This only eggs on those that believe this.

I realize that during times of crisis, such as the economic crisis we are experiencing right now and alot of a soldiers on foreign soils dying, that people look towards their religion to strengthen their faith and find something to hang on to help them through a crisis.

But why o’ why are people pinning all their hopes on Barack Obama like he’s the second coming of Christ? They expect that he will save us from all our problems. First off, Christ, didn’t resurrect in order to save us, but more likely to free us from our sins so that we could save ourselves. Barack Obama’s plans will not allow us to save ourselves. His proposals advocate a socialist political system with the public relying heavily on governmental aid and support. We need less government in this country, not more. How is spending more taxes on programs to bail out people and make them dependent on that aid supposed to stimulate the economy.

I find it a bit scary with Obama being referred to as a Messiah or on a mission from God. Countries ruled through religious zealotry and individuals that justify their actions claiming that there are being directed by God often fall to ruin. Generally because “The Messiah”s show their true colors, the people realize their misplaced faith and their devotion to false Gods and then turn on their leaders.

It’s also scary to think that the man that so many have put their faith in stating he is on a mission from God will be the President of our country on December 21, 2012 when the world will come to end. Is this timing too much of a coincidence or all the chips falling into place for the apocalypse?

Can’t we just refer to him as what he is? A man, plain and simple. Giving him any stature higher than that will cause the millions of people that elected him to be severly disappointed. He’s not the Messiah, he’s not on a mission from God. He’s the President of the United States. He’s the CEO of the country. He gets paid to do a job. If he does his job well, he will get re-elected. If he does not, then this country will find a replacement for him. Plain and simple.

The Price of Groceries

{ November 27, 2008 @ 8:02 am } · { Uncategorized }
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What is up with the price of groceries?

This summer we saw recording breaking prices at the gas pump. So it was understandable that the prices of groceries went up because it cost food buyers, farmers and all the related food vendors more to get products to the stores for consumers to buy them. But that should have only been while fuel costs were high.

Gas prices in the last 2 months are lower than they have ever been in probably 2 years. So why haven’t food prices dropped? I had to go to the grocery store to pick up just a few items that we had run out of. Now it was not a full blown shopping trip, as I had just gone to the store several days ago. I carried out 10 bags, and spent $100. That’s ridiculous. So much for just a quick run to the store. More like the store made a quick trip to my bank account.

What is taking so long for the grocery stores to drop their prices? I am envisioning in the near future that food manufacturers are going to report record profits, since fuel costs have gone down, their profit margin should increase. Just like the fuel industry companies, every summer as we complain about rising gas prices, the fuel companies state that it’s because costs have increased, and then sometime after summer, they report record making profits! I guess grocery stores are learning from the oil & gas industry.

Until we start seeing grocery prices drop, we are not going to see the economic benefit in our pocketbooks from the drop in oil prices, because basically food prices just replace those extra costs.

If oil prices have dropped, it’s time for our other expenses to drop!

Obama Pivots from “Change” Campaign

{ November 27, 2008 @ 6:51 am } · { Uncategorized }
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Timesonline.co.uk is reporting “mounting concerns that Barack Obama has pivoted sharply since his election”. Well, to put it simply, “duh”! Earlier this week I posted some of the appointments to Obama’s cabinets. They are simply a re-hash of the Clinton Administration. How is this change? To effect real change, he should bring in new ideas, which should also mean new faces to the game.

His defense to these allegations is that it would be foolish at such a critical time in our country to choose people who had no experience in Washington. I can agree with that point. But does that mean you have choose the key players from the Clinton Administration, or would it have been possible to bring up people that actually work their noses to the grindstone for those figureheads that did nothing but brown nose the President? The figureheads are not the only experienced people in Washington.

If you have ever visited any of the offices of the House of Representatives or Senate officials, you will quickly learn, that all the work being done, is done by those faces you do not see publicly. The same thing goes with all the other governmental offices in Washington. Let’s be real here. Those figureheads do not get to that type of position without learning how to delegate work, and they probably delegate ALOT of work.

I saw a comment left by someone on timesonline.co.uk that stated, “to those who are criticizing his choices, should he pick people that have never served under any president? I mean, what is acceptable”. That individual ought to think about what he said. He thinks that people manning key positions in Washington should have served under a previous president?! If that’s the case, then why did the voters elect Barack Obama? Last time I looked, he hadn’t served in a position directly under the President. And if we continue to pick people that have served under a previous president, HOW IS THAT CHANGE?! That’s the same administration over and over a nd over again.

How is this change good?

{ November 23, 2008 @ 1:50 am } · { Politics, Uncategorized }
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All throughout Barack Obama’s campaign we heard the word “change”.  He blatantly advocated that it was a time for change in our government.  I agree it is time for a change.  However, I think what Barack Obama really meant is it’s time to “change back”.  As he assembles his presidential cabinet and inner core of advisors, a sense of de ja vu comes across.  A sense of, these people are familiar.  Why?  Because he’s recreating the inner sanctum of the Clinton administration. 

Secretary of State – potentially Hillary Clinton.  I can understand this choice.  He needs to satisfy the other half of his party that did not vote for him in the primaries.  The democratic primaries were a tad too close and could have gone either way, so he must feel the need to appease his party and make nice.  However, she comes with scandal in her past.  Can anyone say “Whitewater Development Corporation”.

Attorney General – Eric Holder???  Like this one won’t come back to haunt him.  He comes with his own set of scandal.  Former Deputy Attorney General under the Clinton Administration.  He managed to slide a pardon through for billionaire fugitive Marc Rich who was indicted of mail fraud, tax evasion, racketeering, trading with the enemy and even longer list of charges.  Not a comforting thought that this will be our top law enforcement official in the country that backs backroom deals on behalf of criminals.

VP Chief of Staff – Ron Crain??  Don’t know much about him except he used to be chief of staff for Al Gore, still of the Clinton Administration as far as I am concerned.

White House Chief of Staff – Rahm Emanuel??  Former senior advisor to Clinton and in charge of Clinton’s campaign finance committee during his first run at the presidency.   This guy’s personality is a little scary.   His nickname is “Rahm-bo”?! Try googling him and you will find a story about how after the 1996 election he was so angry about the president’s opponents that he grabbed a steak knife, began rambling off a list of names of the president’s opponents, stabbing the table after he said each name and shouting “dead…dead…dead!”.  How’s he going to react when faced with foreign dignitaries that oppose President Elect Barack Obama’s opinions?  Maybe he’s just a little bit toooooo zealous. 

Transition Team Co-chair – John Podesta?? Former top aide to Clinton.  Don’t know anything else about him, but he’s still a Clinton re-hash.

White House Legal Counsel – Greg Craig??  Former lawyer to Bill Clinton…need I say more??

The last few years of the Clinton administration was shrouded in controversy.  Whitewater, Monica Lewinsky… what were all these advisors actually advising Bill Clinton?  It’s obvious they were not that effective or they would have been able to make a difference in how this administration ended.   So why would Barack Obama surround himself with ineffective people? 

In terms of what is needed in our government and our society today, this is my definition of change “become different in essence, losing one’s original nature”.   It is already becoming clear, before Barack Obama has taken the oath of office, that he really didn’t mean a true change for our society.  It really meant a return of politics as we remember them under the Clinton administration.   If that administration was so great, why did Al Gore lose the election?